I'm Pretty Sure I Cheated Death...Twice.

Hudson River Road

Picture taken by sacoo

Hindsight is truly 20/20, especially during times when we know one different choice, one different turn could have changed everything. For me, I look back on the time I had my first seizure and shudder. I either have a guardian angel, excellent karma, or just plain luck on my side, because I came close to not only killing myself but also someone I love.

The Night of January 1st, 2007: Cross Country Drive
It was the night of New Years Day and I was driving cross country from Morrison, Illinois to Mechanicville, New York. I had just finished an epic vacation of staying up late, getting into all sorts of unnamed trouble (censoring for self/professional preservation), and living it up for ten days. It was my Christmas break from SUNY Cortland, where I was also running around like a crazy woman. I went to class late during the week, partied at night, and played rugby on the weekends. Truth be told, I was pretty unhappy...but don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to keep. Moving along.

That night I was absolutely exhausted. My younger sister Caitlin had spent time with her friends somewhere else, and I swooped it to pick her up on my way home. I drove through the night, 15 hours straight. Not much sleep the night before, fast food, a pack of smokes, and soda to keep me awake. I felt like absolute trash and had to struggle to make it to 5 a.m. I didn't want to ask Caitlin to drive, she was tired too. I'd suck it up and let her sleep. She slept in the passenger seat while I focused on the icy roads and delivered us safely to our house in Mechanicville.

That was the night my sister and I cheated death.

My body was on the cusp of a grand mal seizure, and I had no idea. No warning. No prior history. Nothing. What caused my body to wait? Why not lose control under those incredibly stressful circumstances? I really don't know. All I can do is think back to that night and thank whoever was watching over us, because based on what I know about seizures, I should have had one that night, with my sister in the passenger seat and the icy roads winding through the mountains of New York.

My mother told me she knew something was wrong with me when I got out of the car as she was getting up in the morning. She said she had never seen me so pale and run down. I went immediately to bed and slept for 9 hours.

Morning of January 2nd: Hudson River Road
When I woke up, Caitlin made me an omelet and I called my friend Shannon to hang out. I haven't been able to eat an omelete since, by the way. Shannon and I were going to go to Hudson Valley College so she could run some errands that afternoon. I always drove wherever we went. I loved to drive, didn't matter the distance. This time, though, Shannon told me she wanted to drive for us since I had just finished driving cross country.

It was at this point Shannon and I really cheated death.

We were driving along Hudson River Road in Mechanicville. There is a guard rail, some grass, and a drop off to the Hudson River that's on the driver's side of the car. Keep in mind, the river is icy yet still flowing pretty briskly. If I had been driving, what would have happened? Would the car have rolled? Would the guard rail have stopped us from going in the river if we were driving at 45-50 mile per hour? Even if it did, would we have walked away from the accident? Hit someone head on? Thank God I'll never know.

I'm talking to Shannon all heated about something, waving my hands in the air as I usually do when I'm spicy about whatever I'm venting about, when all of a sudden I went silent. I balled my fist and hit her in the side of the face. Of course, Shannon was like, "What the f*ck?" and she looked over. Immediately, she freaked out.

My head was bent back, my eyes were rolled up, and both of my fists were balled up and hitting out to the sides. My entire torso was convulsing, but my legs remained eerily still. I didn't stop shaking for two minutes. Shannon pulled over, ran out of the car and flagged down a truck to help. She called 911 and then my mom. It wasn't easy though, seeing that I call my mom "mamasita" in my phone. Should probably change that...

Anyways, the ambulance showed up, got me out of the car, and rushed me to the hospital in Troy to begin a bunch of useless tests that would lead to no answers. I ended up in a hospital bed with a worried family and a diagnosis of "We Don't Know." I was told I had a 50% chance of having another grand mal seizure, so it was their suggestion that I take anti-epileptic medication for the rest of my life to make sure I'd be safe.

I say screw that, doctors. I've never had a seizure. Why would I have another one? No medication for me, thank you very much. I'll be fine.

Now, I think back on this time of my life with gravity. I am humbled, and I try to live my life with gratitude each day because I am aware that I am lucky to be alive.